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Good evening audience! It seems that you, much like us, have nothing better to do with your Saturday night other than sit inside and watch what is one of Malta’s most followed appointments of the year! So sit back, and let us be your tongue in cheek guides for the night!
Daniel’s shoes are brighter than my future.
Daniel’s suit is the current highlight of the night
So to run you through the night:
We’ve got 16 songs to get through tonight, and once that chore has been done, we get to vote on who we’re going to send on an all inclusive holiday to Ukraine for a week next May.
Pantaloons. Nuff said.
HERE COME THE ADS.
And let the adverts begin!
These cut scenes are uncomfortably long…
Klinsmann looking 12 as ever!
Klinsmann through the ages: From McFly to Regaine commercials
L-editors ta’ dawk il-gazzetti registrati?
First song of the night, Klinsmann Coleiro with Laserlight!
Klinsmann’s singing is about as clear as my future
That chair was stolen straight from KSU Common Room.
Props to Warren for choreo though!
Props to Klinsmann for not giving up!
Raquella Dalli Gonzi is our second singer with Ray of Light.
that dress looks like my gran’s table cloth
Whoever hairsprayed Raquela’s hair deserves the award.
Continuing off from Martina’s, with this song, probably the only time she’ll be on top of the table. Sounds like the sound track to Spirit. That movie about a horse.
We have discovered that Matteo has never watched The Lion King – in the words of a great politician: “SHAME ON YOU”
Powerful voice on that one
With 5 song writers this song better be good.
Deborah C & Joseph up next with the very originally named Tonight
Sounds like an advert for Mea
GIANLUCA? IS THAT YOU?
Sounds like an advert for Meadowlea
Inb4 we get billboards of them telling us to wash our hands
5 writers…are you kidding me??
5 writers and all you can manage is copying the entry of 3 years ago?
So.. 5 songwriters came up with a children’s song.
Jack and Jill fell off a hill, paid five writers for a song, and ended up with one of Gianluca Bezzina’s drafts
I’d rather watch a Rocs advert on repeat than vote for this
sponsored by Windows movie maker
Kevin Borg up next, winner of the Swedish Idol nine years ago has since dropped off the radar a bit; but tonight he’s back with Follow
Kevin Borg, like a discounted Made in China version of Kevin Jonas
Women need functioning pant pockets too!
Decent voice and all, but not exactly going to set Ukraine alight if he wins.
Kevin goes Dragon Ball Z
HELLO SPIRTU S-SANTU
I hope CABS didn’t see that bird going up in digital smoke right there otherwise we’ll be having trouble on our hands…
HONK HONK HONK !!!!!!
Not even the Holy Spirit can make this song win
Recap time – Office chairs, tablecloths, Gianluca Bezzina’s doppelganger and exploding doves!
It definitely hasn’t been an uneventful night so far!
No Crosscraft adverts so far this year – PRAISE THE LORD!
67 commercials later :))))))
Here we go again….
The mic tape is annoying me beyond anything else
Charles Borg done got shut down
APPLY COLD WATER TO BURN
‘Quasi-Almost-Made-It-Celebrities Read Mean Tweets’
Straight out of Havana 808
I was not ready for that intro…
Did she borrow half her outfit from Thea Garret’s bird
Her earrings are a low-key bluetooth earpiece
At least this kept us awake… love the SPUNK !
NICE HENNA BAE
That was B.A.D. On the way to my ENT
OHHHHHHHH THEY’RE HIP! LOVELY DAB
That note sounded like my pubescent younger brother
I was about to say this wasn’t too bad for a Eurovision song. But then they ended on a dab. Why.
I lost it at the Dab
Basic like yo tinsel dress
I do love me some country music <3
What is it with songs being nursery rhymes
Carnival came a week earlier than expected
She’s dressed like someone dancing at carnival back when Eileen presented it.
I wish the outfit was So Simple…
Anything that has a man in a beret playing a banjo is pretty damn good in my book!
FINALLY a song I don’t hate
The backing track is giving me life
Disney called, they want their song back…
Theme song for most like-seeking teens in Malta?
That being said – I actually like it
Nice voice and great performance but not a Eurovision ‘worthy’ song… whatever that means
MISSING: Most male performers’ socks. kalzettigate
With a name like Rhiannon… you have to be fearless qalbi
If she sold her earrings to Gram, she’d become a millionaire.
Very purtiera-esque earings
Did my grandmother’s house get robbed by the whole costume department?
Advert break perfectly coinciding with the time we have to go pick our pizza up. Fantastic. We will leave you in the capable hands of Chase and Martina for now.
And we are back, Jesus take the wheel
Ariana Grande wannabe much
Funtana toppu makes a comeback
Me and Matteo have returned sans pizza sadly. We’ll rectify that after the next break.
Party at the top, middle aged business woman at the bottom.
Hello? Miriana the 90’s called, they want their cornrows back
Dab again mofo. I dare you. I double dare you.
Are those lights at the back or am I tripping on LSD??
On the latest Culture-less Saga: Albert has not watched Pulp Fiction. Shame.
One shoe to rule them all..
getting some serious Morticia Adams vibes
She’s got every 90s child’s dream – light up shoes!!!! (my 12 year old self is indeed jealous)
Pretty sure she got lost on the way to Havana.
Only potential here is the up-sale for those shoes
Blah blah bye
Here we go…Janice make us proud!
It’s time for the people’s favourite – Janice Mangion with Kewkba
The dream of every self-styled Maltese patriot – a Eurovision song sung in Maltese.
the language, the subject matter, the dress….WE GET IT, YOU LOVE MALTA
Probably the winner. HOWEVER,we don’t have the political agenda to let us win with a Maltese song pero.
Amazing voice nonetheless
It’s a nice song, and a really nice voice and we are pretty sure that this will win on the basis that it’s sung in Maltese – but we’re not sure it’s Eurovision material…
Great voice, can’t win internationally though
I’m fighting to survive this night…
We have spent the whole night debating on the proper pronunciation of this singer’s name…and we still don’t have a concrete answer…
Love her shoesie
Oh look, someone who obviously wanted to be Slash.
Her voice sounds like an out of tune violin getting BBQ’ed on the sun
Oh, and he left.
Mela, pizza run take 2.
My ears are still ringing…
Albert you may despair, I told you there was a Crosscraft add
And we have arrived at long last to the last set of songs for this night
Daniel’s suit is still the highlight of my night
It’s called Serkin, you uncultured swine
BOMBSHELL started with a bang … bless
Ponytails are really making a appearance tonight
Props to Yada’s Elaine Falzon for the choreo!
I don’t hate it but I don’t like it either
Love it! Something different… well done Maxine!
Sweet song, but not really winning material
Falling asleep on my pizza in 3..2..1
Cute song on a romantic dinner or something, not Eurovision material though I’m afraid.
There should be a rule that ex-winners aren’t allowed to participate again.
the only spunk in the whole performance is Richard’s earring
Ah, another favourite now – Brooke with Unstoppable
Light effects brighter than my future
Her stage presence tho
They do say that if a pigeon leaves its droppings on you it’s good luck. Hairband or bird shit?
Resilience is key
The poster girl for determination, Claudia Faniello, then to close off the night for us with Breathlessly
Nice wedding dress
She’s only 28.
Bright side, if she loses, she’s got her wedding dress sorted
She tries so hard miskina… but still too boring
As is normally the case with anything Claudia Faniello – very nice but too slow for it’s own good
If you looked up bodacious, you’d get Claudia. What a woman.
We have 15 mins to decide who we’re gonna dump money on 🙂
VOTING OPEN NIES … WASTE YO CREDIT
Apologies for that 10 minute hiatus – my brother arrived home and elected to put on roughly 63 appliances all at once, hence tripping the fusebox and leaving us feeling like the Victorian Age all over again.
MAKE IT STOP
Fave outfit- Cherton
Fave dance- Maxine
Fave performance- Brooke
Fave voice- Janice
Finally, decent music.
FINALLY SOME GOOD MUSIC DEO GLORIA
I’m half of the Spotify pays for this song semplicita
Spotify xejn – I own the EP! Absolutely love these guys!
I’m half of the Spotify plays for this song semplicita
That accent melts my ice cold heart
The fact that there is no jury vote this year presents an interesting problem for the Maltese people…
AHAHAHHA – ahahaha – ahah – no.
That problem being that when we inevitably don’t win, we can’t blame the foreigners for choosing the wrong song.
The recaps will forever haunt my dreams
Ok so after this saga, it’s time to see who we all think will win…
Top 3 Prediction (random order):
Unstoppable, Kewkba, Follow me (not my personal favourites tho)
The nation has decided who shall get the most glorified holiday of the year
We’ve come to a unanimous conclusion that Janice Mangion’s Kewkba will win this – although it isn’t everyone’s favourite song.
As if a week in a country torn up by civil war and foreign military intervention can be considered as a desirable holiday…
“tajjeb ghax tajjeb, u tajjeb ghax b’xejn”
*shoves banana in purse during a buffet*
We’ve had 300 people tune into this live feed tonight…that’s 300 people with no life just like us! Great to see that we aren’t alone 😀
Gladiator cum Jackson 5?
Party like a Saturday – at Valletta – till 8.30
“Like we’re partying on a Saturday” – and how would you know what that feels like eh Sinjorina?
IRA’S BACK… for 5 mins
Here she comes
End. Of. An. Ira.
Look, our home-grown talent (we only seem to have one) can be a baby momma, play the piano, AND sing. Cancel the festival. Send her to Ukraine.
The digital faces are back!!!
Martina is singing along with the song…I won’t risk joining in as we just cleaned the windows in here and it would break my heart to break one with my singing…
Xkupa u pala
Better than all of the crap we heard tonight by a long shot
Say what you want…Ira is one of the best singers we have
YOU GO GIRLY
PETER BORG!!!!! God bless you, you beautiful human being
Oh never mind
If Ira couldn’t win the Eurovision…then none of the 16 songs that we heard tonight will. Fact.
This performance is the official highlight of my night, though Peter Borg is like 90% of the reason
Who uses the word “Faqa” anymore come on…
Legend has it, she’s just writing her new grime album
She is so awkward, bless
Someone give her cue cards next time pls
Let there not be a next time pls
The tension is palpable
THIRD PLACE BE FOLLOW – KIF HIJ?
3rd place – Kevin Borg and his exploding bird!
We did not expect this at all
HOLY CRAP WHAT
SECOND PLACE BE KEWKBA- WTF SO WHO’S THE WINNER?????
Janice Mangion takes second place with Kewkba!
Currently under shock.
MOMENT OF TRUTH
Poor Matt had already started photoshopping Janice as the winner lol
AND THE WINNER IS
NO FUCKING WAY
CLAUDIA NOT SO FINALI
WELL DONE PUPA- nth time is the charm!!!!!!!
So….. who else is shocked af?
Claudia Faniello – proof that determination does indeed pay off
Well, that was a roller-coaster and a half…
A lot of wasted money, confused presenters, and one breathless winner! ;)))
An ending that left us breathless that’s for sure…
The real question is … where is Fabrizio?
Good night nies x
Right, that’s all the breath-related puns out of our system
I’ll be back. The Matteo-nator.
And with that, it’s time to bid you all adieu for tonight.
It’s been a night of drama, screaming, zany costumes, exploding poultry and in the end; a most unexpected winner. It’s been fantastic commentating for you and thank you so much for following our live blog throughout the night! See you in May!